< > Alchemy for Dummies 2: Warning! Thar' Be Spoilers Ahead!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Warning! Thar' Be Spoilers Ahead!

IF you have not seen "Avatar" don't read this- or at least be warned of spoilers.

"Avatar" 3-D . Okay, so now I know why it did not win best picture. While the movie was 3-D the characters were 2-D at best. A predictable plot I've seen many times. A greedy weak company man, evil military man, noble savages.Was it pretty to look at? Yes. Was it impressive special effects? Made Betsy almost ill a couple of times due to the 3-D. Not sure if that's impressive. It was better than the old re/blue glasses 3-D. But it was still used the same way.
Did 3-D advance the plot? No. If you're going to tell an old story, give it a fresh twist. Have a strong company man who joins in to stop the colonel. Have a colonel who realizes what the company is doing and has a change of heart. Or deepen the plot, make him more evil. How did Jake's brother die? Was it an accident that the colonel just happened to get a former marine, that needed legs, to use as his spy - or was that robbery more than a lucky accident for the colonel?
Or you could have the noble savages be just a little less in need of an outside savior? In all this time had they never captured any weapons? Had they no technology? How about sabotage? Guerrilla warfare? Umm.... wait... weren't those guns that at least two of the good guys had in the final battle? Where did they come from? And how was Jake able to communicate with everyone in that battle? Looked like radio to me. So where did he get them?
And on the subject of plot holes... Jake didn't have his brother's training. Okay, that's a given. But then they take a valuable avatar and throw him in the field without so much as a "this looks deadly, but isn't"-"this looks deadly and is" " Don't touch, eat, smell or step in this" ? Come on folks.
And what about the big blue folks? Why do the Na'vi have breasts and hair? Are they mammals? They have navels ( navi means navel btw) but why?
Okay, I didn't hate the movie. When I was 10 I would have loved it. But I have no particular need to see it again. I've already seen it more than once.

PS As long as I'm in a movie rant mood, why in the Hell remake "Death At A Funeral"? It was a smart, funny, "black comedy". I have liked some remakes which can stand on their own- "Magnificent Seven" and "Seven Samuri" come to mind Looking at the previews I have great fear. If I see it I will wait till it comes to the cheap seats, and then only out of morbid curiosity.


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